The Madame X Tour Journal: What happened in Paris

10 March 2020

5 March 2020
Paris, France
I arrive in Paris. Madonna is here since February, the 22nd. She has to perform 14 times in the Grand Rex to conclude the Madame X Tour. Unfortunately, “as a result of ongoing injuries”, several shows are cancelled. Maintaining the last shows of the tour is uncertain, I worry about the show on March 10th I will attend.

7 March 2020
Even though I have no tickets for tonight’s show, I go to take the pulse in front of the Grand Rex nevertheless. I emerge from the Bonne Nouvelle subway and arrive in the middle of an excitement I applied myself on imagining and describing throughout the 240 pages of my Rebel Heart Tour Journal. No sooner had I arrive on the last step of the subway exit stairs than I recognize immediately Aaron Henrikson, Madonna’s personal make up artist. He is taller than I thought.

I specially brought two copies (only in French) of the Rebel Heart Tour Journal that has been reprinted for the occasion. Moreover, two copies (bilingual) of my artistic statement in portfolios. The four books are in my backpack. A copy of each for Madonna, and for the envoy. Aaron seems in a hurry. I try to follow him hoping he would stop for a moment, allowing me to catch my books and give it to him then.

Arms full of packed fast food, he weaves in and out between fans. I wonder why he is not recognized that much. Then I remember that not everybody on this sidewalk has spent four or five months of his life writing about him, his entourage, the tour and his boss. I have a weird impression at the idea of not being able to embrace him like an old friend I hadn’t seen for years. Even if I wrote about him, fabricated his personality from beginning to end, and made him the best friend of my fictional alter ego.

I keep on following Aaron. The embroidered hornet on the back of his jacket stands as a target. Finally, he rushes into a black minivan that dissolves in the traffic of the boulevard. The show is cancelled. I still have my four books in my backpack and I feel as dumb as the time I had Guy Oseary, Madonna’s manager, within easy reach and I was unable to give him my business card. In order not to remain on a new frustration for the next five years, I send a message to Aaron, on Instagram. I set up a meeting with him on the next day to give him the books.

8 March 2020
12 am. I hang around the stage door. Aaron answered me. He will be in the area around 6 pm. I put the books in a tote bag I keep in my arms, ready to be offered to Aaron at his arrival. Around 4 pm, the first members of the tour arrive. I recognize them. Dancers (about whom I wrote too), batukadeiras, and many I can’t identify. Then, Andy Lecompte, Madonna’s hairdresser. Also a close friend in the fiction. I don’t dare to approach him. I don’t catch sight of Tony, which I regret. Then arrive Madonna’s kids. Concertinaed barriers are unfolded to contain fans. Estere, Stella, Mercy. And finally, by another car, Madonna.

Many minutes later, fans evaporate, I still keep the stage door. Dancers come in and out incessantly. We breathe the same air. I feel like I’m part of them, in the way of a former member who visits his ex-colleagues. Aaron arrives. I signal to him. He gives a wide smile and greets me. I give him the tote bag immediately. His smile gets wider. He thanks me warmly. I thank him for his kindness and availability in turn. He is right as imagined him in my text. He wants to shake my hand. Then he asks me if I want to take a picture with him. I say yes. He pivots over himself looking for the best light. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take a clear picture. But my memory does not need a sharpness filter.

The show is about to begin, the fans enter the Grand Rex, the sidewalk empty. The ambience is inside now. I’m on cloud nine. I call all my friends who are in the loop, tell them every last detail of what happened and my plan for the next show days. I go back home on feet. Unfortunately I can’t stay and wait for Madonna at the end of the show. A Brazilian fan I met earlier brought rose petals to make a red carpet for her exit. On my way, I learn that the Ministry of Health has just prohibited gathering of more than 1000 persons in order to fight coronavirus spread. Consequently, my show on March 10th is cancelled. The Madame X Tour ends with tonight’s show.